In a single moment
the world crashed in on me,
hot water beating down my back.

An empty scream
echoed in a hollow place.
I realised, with utter lack, right then,
I would never see you again.

The concept of forever – forever gone –
is captured in that moment,
hot water beating down my back
and emptiness seeping from my pores
as I tried to simply wash away
agonies compounded by agonies –
to fill spaces so infinite that I am exile in my soul.

I will never see you again…

Belief eluded me then,
when I wasn’t looking,
and it cascaded down my back
hot and feverish – steaming with longing –
scalding in the knowledge
that your voice will not break silences,
your warmth open hearts,
your kindness melt contempt…

I will never see you again…

You tread a different realm
we are separated always –
not by me this time but by time itself
and I miss you
in these private moments you can only have in
haunted tiled palaces: bathrooms and showers…

How many tears have mingled
with these cleansing rituals and become one?